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Seven drunk nights
- As I went home on Monday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me"
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before - And as I went home on Tuesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me"
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before - And as I went home on Wednesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair
Where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair
Where my old pipe should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me"
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before - And as I went home on Thursday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me"
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before - And as I went home on Friday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed
Where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed
Where my old head should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me"
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before - And as I went home on Saturday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts
Where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts
Where my old hands should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me"
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
Butfingers in a night gown sure I never saw before - And as I went home on Sunday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in her thing
Where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing in your thing
Where my old thing should be?"
"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely thin whistle that me mother sent to me"
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before