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The Scotsman
- Well a Scotsman clad in kilt
Left the bar one evening fair
One could tell by how he walked
That he drank more than his share
He fumbled round until he could
No longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass asleep
To sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle i de oh, ring di diddly i oh
He stumbled off into the grass asleep
To sleep beside the street - About that time two young and lovely
Girls just happened by
One says to the other
With a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman,
So strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true
What they don't wear beneath the kilt"
Ring ding diddle diddle i de oh, ring di diddly i oh
I wonder if it's true
What they don't wear beneath the kilt - They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman
Quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch
So they could see
And there behold unto their view
Beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God
Had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle i de oh, ring di diddly i oh
Was nothing more than God
Had graced him with upon his birth - They marveled for a moment then one said:
"We must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend
Before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon
Tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star
The Scot's kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle i de oh, ring di diddly i oh
Around the bonnie star
The Scot's kilt did lift and show - Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call
And stumbled towards the trees
Behind a bush he lift his kilt
And gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says
To what's before his eyes:
"Och, lad I don't know where you've been
But I see you won first prize"
Ring ding diddle diddle i de oh, ring di diddly i oh
Och, lad I don't know where you've been
But I see you won first prize