Dear sir I write this note to you
To tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it,
I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue,
Me face a deadly gray
And I write this note to say
Why I am not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor,
Some bricks I had to clear
But tossing them down from such a height
Was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased,
He is an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart em
Down the ladder in me hod

Well clearing all these bricks by hand
It seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured a rope below
But in my haste to do the job,
I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks
Was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope,
The barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope,
I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket
And to my dismay I found
that halfway up I met the bloody
Barrel coming down

Now the barrel broke me shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with my head
But I clung on tightly, numb with shock
From this almighty blow

While the barrel spilled out half its bricks,
Some fourteen floors below
Now when these bricks had fallen
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
And I started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope,
Me body wracked with pain
And halfway down I met
The bloody barrel once again

The force of this collision
Halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions
And a nasty case of shock
But I clung on tightly to the rope
As I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks
The barrel 'd scattered 'round

As I lay there moaning on the floor,
I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel
And then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me,
I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground
I let go the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier,
It started down once more
It landed right across me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm,
And I can only say
I hope you'll understand
Why I am not at work today