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The Ball Of Kerrymuir
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Balls to your partner,
Arse against the wall
If you've never been fucked on a Saturday night
you'll never be fucked at all
Balls to your partner,
Arse against the wall
If you've never been fucked on a Saturday night
you'll never be fucked at all
- 't Was the gathering of the clans
And all the Scots were there
A-feeling up the lassies
Among the pubic hair
- Four and twenty virgins
Came down from Inverness.
And when the Ball was over,
There were four and twenty less
- There was fucking in the kitchen
And fucking in the halls
You couldn't hear the music
For the clanging of the balls
- The village plumber he was there
He felt an awful fool,
He'd come eleven leagues or more
And forgot to bring his tool
- The town magician, he was there
He gave us all the laughs
Pulled his foreskin over his head
And vanished up his ass
- The village idiot he was there
Up to his favourite trick
Bouncin' on his testicles
And whistling through his prick
- The village copper he was there
He had a mighty pole
He grabbed a maiden by the ass
And yodelled through her hole
- The chimney-sweeper he was there,
But he soon got the boot
For every time he farted,
He covered 'em all with soot
- The village leper he was there
Sitting on a log
He peeled the foreskin off his cock
And fed it to his dog
- The mayor's daughter she was there
She had the crowd in fits
A-jumping off the mantelpiece
And bouncing off her tits
- Tiny Timmy he was there
He was only eight
He couldn't reach the lassies
So he had to masturbate
- And when the ball was over
They all went home to rest
The music had been exquisite
But the fucking was the best
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